Remy Porter

Remy is a veteran developer who writes software for farming robots. They pick tomatoes.

He's often on stage, doing improv comedy, but insists that he isn't doing comedy- it's deadly serious. You're laughing at him, not with him. That, by the way, is usually true- you're laughing at him, not with him.

Failing to Fail

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Russell F (previously) sends us a small one today. It's not just a representative line, it's a representative comment. More than that, it's a true confession. Russell wrote some code, you see, and the logic was confusing. So, a co-worker added a comment to explain what the code was doing:

'This is *supposed* to fail. If it fails to fail, it throws a failure message

Please Find, Rewind

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As previously discussed, C++ took a surprisingly long time to get a "starts with" function for strings. It took even longer to get a function called "contains". In part, that's simply because string::find solves that problem.

Nancy sends us a… different approach to solving this problem.


Not for Nullthing

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Today's anonymous submitter sends us some code that just makes your mind go… blank when you look at it.

	public static boolean isNull(String value) {
		return StringUtils.isBlank(value);
	}

Empty Pockets

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If you've seen one developer recounting how their AI agent deleted production, you've seen them all. They're mostly not interesting stories. It's like watching someone speeding through traffic on a motorcycle without a helmet: the eventual tragedy is sad, but it's unsurprising and not an interesting story to tell. It's not even interesting as a warning: the kind of person who speeds on a motorcycle without a helmet isn't doing so because they don't understand the danger. They've just decided it doesn't apply to them.

But the founder of PocketOS, Jer, recently shared how- whoopsie!- their AI agent deleted production. There's a lot of ingredients that go into this particular disaster, which I think makes it interesting, because the use of a poorly supervised AI agent is only one ingredient in this absolute trainwreck of a story.


Cancel Catch

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"This WTF is in Matlab" almost feels like cheating. At one place I worked, somebody's job was struggling through a mountain of Matlab code and porting it into C. "This Matlab code looks like it was written by an alien," also doesn't really get much traction- all Matlab code looks like it was written by an alien. This falls into the realm of "Researchers use Matlab, researchers may be very smart about their domain, but generally don't know the first thing about writing maintainable code, because that's not their job."

But let's take a look at some MatLab Carl W found:


Lint Brush Off

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A few years back, C# added the concept of "primary constructors". Instead of declaring the storage for class members and then initializing them in the constructor, you can annotate the class itself with the required fields, and C# automatically generates a constructor for you. It's all very TypeScript and very Microsoft, and certainly cuts down on some boilerplate.

Esben B's team isn't really using them in many places, but they are using a linter which is opinionated about them. So this in-line constructor causes the linter to complain:


The JSON Template

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We rip on PHP a lot, but I am willing to admit that the language and ecosystem have evolved over the years. What started as an ugly templating language is now just an ugly regular language.

But what happens when you still really want to do things with templates? Allison has inherited a Python-based, WSGI application which rejects any sort of formal routing or basic web development best practices. Their way of routing requests is simply long chains of "if condition then invokeA elif otherCondition then invokeB". Sometimes, those conditions will directly set the MIME type on the HTTP response.


Tune Out the Static

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Henrik H (previously) sends us a simple representative C# line:

static void GenerateCommercilaInvoice()

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