Who Needs Connectivity? I Have Service!

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  • LoremIpsumDolorSitAmet 2013-01-10 08:06
    So TRWTF is that Jim didn't properly authenticate the caller? Maybe there really was a MARYB and she got lucky, but a little more digging would have ratted her out.

    Also, his very FRIST question should have been whether she could get a dial tone.
  • Shutter bug 2013-01-10 08:09
    LoremIpsumDolorSitAmet:
    So TRWTF is that Jim didn't properly authenticate the caller? Maybe there really was a MARYB and she got lucky, but a little more digging would have ratted her out.


    I guess Jim wasn't quite as smart as the University President had suggested...

    Captcha: Nobis as in Nobis-ness calling that particular number

    (sorry, I'll just grab my coat!)
  • tkdbb84 2013-01-10 08:12
    Sadly I work doing System Administration at a University, I wouldn't have been surprised if this had been an ex-faculty member.
  • DaveK 2013-01-10 08:14
    How about "Well, that'll be the cause of your problem then. The dial-up needs your phone line to work."
  • peony 2013-01-10 08:18
    if someone called me on my personal number looking for tech support and the first thing they done was not profusely apologise to me for disturbing my time, i would immediately hang up and add their number to the caller firewall.
  • Nappy 2013-01-10 08:20
    No idea if there is a law but every once in a while you start finding the problem from the wrong end of the problem
  • Andrew 2013-01-10 08:20
    Maybe I'm missing something... Did I read this right? Instead of calling AOL, she phoned random numbers at the varsity and lied and get help from their IT instead?
  • Smug Unix User 2013-01-10 08:25
    Real IT doesn't answer phone calls.
  • letatio 2013-01-10 08:28
    Andrew:
    Maybe I'm missing something... Did I read this right? Instead of calling AOL, she phoned random numbers at the varsity and lied and get help from their IT instead?


    Should have told her to cat /dev/zero > /dev/hda
  • LoremIpsumDolorSitAmet 2013-01-10 08:37
    letatio:
    Andrew:
    Maybe I'm missing something... Did I read this right? Instead of calling AOL, she phoned random numbers at the varsity and lied and get help from their IT instead?


    Should have told her to cat /dev/zero > /dev/hda

    Better to use /dev/urandom. Zeroes compress too easily.
  • Leo 2013-01-10 08:45
    LoremIpsumDolorSitAmet:
    letatio:
    Andrew:
    Maybe I'm missing something... Did I read this right? Instead of calling AOL, she phoned random numbers at the varsity and lied and get help from their IT instead?


    Should have told her to cat /dev/zero > /dev/hda

    Better to use /dev/urandom. Zeroes compress too easily.


    That makes no sense: zeroes are big and round, while ones are skinny. So by using urandom, you're introducing ones, which will compress together much more than big round zeroes.

    Pfft, and the university president said you were smart.
  • Andrew 2013-01-10 08:48
    LoremIpsumDolorSitAmet:
    letatio:
    Andrew:
    Maybe I'm missing something... Did I read this right? Instead of calling AOL, she phoned random numbers at the varsity and lied and get help from their IT instead?


    Should have told her to cat /dev/zero > /dev/hda

    Better to use /dev/urandom. Zeroes compress too easily.
    Then you would get a phone call a few minutes later, complaining that it isn't working. Retards like Mary stay the hell away from the command line, and generally use Windows anyway.
  • King Fax 2013-01-10 08:49
    Oh I ROFLOL'd. Oh oh oh my, did I ROFLOMAO.

  • Nagesh 2013-01-10 08:50
    Funny story. He should have asked Marty to send a screen shot by email. :-)


  • RakerF1 2013-01-10 09:04
    If he was really in IT, he would asked "Did you reboot your computer?"

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_IT_Crowd

    Captcha: nibh -- you gotta nibh it in the bud!
  • ObiWayneKenobi 2013-01-10 09:15
    Until I got to the end I was all ready to say that the Real WTF is having some thinks-he-knows-it-all exec (or academic/government equivalent) tell random people it's okay to bypass the established food chain for support issues.

    Then I got to the end of the story. That's too funny, but now the WTF is a helpdesk guy (corp or otherwise) who doesn't immediately verify the user calling is an actual user of the system.
  • Evo 2013-01-10 09:18
    The real WTF if a *tech* guy being socially engineered by a clueless woman...
  • Melnorme 2013-01-10 09:19
    Obvious prank call is obvious.
  • Paul 2013-01-10 09:26
    OK, this one had me totally buying in to the retired university story, because that is exactly how university employees act when they want something.

    You see, if you're dumb, you leave school at some point to work in the Real World where your employer can't back your paycheck unless you all get your act together and provide some product or service people want bad enough to pay for it.

    But if you're really smart, the university people well welcome you to the inner circle as one of their own, and you will go straight from Mommy and Daddy paying your tuition to begging the Government for handouts (grants). You never have the experience of being required to produce something of value.

    Therefore your value is not measured by productivity, but by this nebulous thing called clout. You've published papers that are more important than the other guy. You've been there longer. You know the assistant to the janitor of the guy who wipes the Dean's ass. Whatever you can find, you glom onto it and trumpet it about to prove your standing.

    And woe be to the lowly tech support peon who fails to bow in submission to your greatness. Trivia like unplugged power cords are just excuses for your abject craven maliciousness in failing to acknowledge their clout. Therefore you must be yelled at in louder and more dramatic terms until it penetrates your thick skull that they are fucking important dammit so you better fix their shit right now or face their wrath!!!

    Used to happen to me every day.

    If you were clever you could get two of them at your desk at the same time, each trying to outclout the other, and just sit back and watch the sparks fly. Quite entertaining at first, but it gets old. And of course the job didn't pay nearly enough to compensate for that, so I moved on.

    But the opening paragraphs are 100% realistic.
  • John Hensley 2013-01-10 09:27
    TRWTF is Jim's failure to tell Mary to go to hell before hanging up.
  • Anketam 2013-01-10 09:28
    This is the kind of story I expect to see on Not Always Right.
  • HeeHaw 2013-01-10 09:33
    Paul:
    OK, this one had me totally buying in to the retired university story, because that is exactly how university employees act when they want something.

    You see, if you're dumb, you leave school at some point to work in the Real World where your employer can't back your paycheck unless you all get your act together and provide some product or service people want bad enough to pay for it.

    But if you're really smart, the university people well welcome you to the inner circle as one of their own, and you will go straight from Mommy and Daddy paying your tuition to begging the Government for handouts (grants). You never have the experience of being required to produce something of value.

    Therefore your value is not measured by productivity, but by this nebulous thing called clout. You've published papers that are more important than the other guy. You've been there longer. You know the assistant to the janitor of the guy who wipes the Dean's ass. Whatever you can find, you glom onto it and trumpet it about to prove your standing.

    And woe be to the lowly tech support peon who fails to bow in submission to your greatness. Trivia like unplugged power cords are just excuses for your abject craven maliciousness in failing to acknowledge their clout. Therefore you must be yelled at in louder and more dramatic terms until it penetrates your thick skull that they are fucking important dammit so you better fix their shit right now or face their wrath!!!

    Used to happen to me every day.

    If you were clever you could get two of them at your desk at the same time, each trying to outclout the other, and just sit back and watch the sparks fly. Quite entertaining at first, but it gets old. And of course the job didn't pay nearly enough to compensate for that, so I moved on.

    But the opening paragraphs are 100% realistic.


    You weren't accepted to grad school, i see.
  • @Deprecated 2013-01-10 09:35
    Leo:
    LoremIpsumDolorSitAmet:
    letatio:
    Andrew:
    Maybe I'm missing something... Did I read this right? Instead of calling AOL, she phoned random numbers at the varsity and lied and get help from their IT instead?


    Should have told her to cat /dev/zero > /dev/hda

    Better to use /dev/urandom. Zeroes compress too easily.


    That makes no sense: zeroes are big and round, while ones are skinny. So by using urandom, you're introducing ones, which will compress together much more than big round zeroes.

    Pfft, and the university president said you were smart.


    You're nuts. Ones are made of solid pixels, whereas zeros have that big hole in the middle.
  • NoVOIP 2013-01-10 10:00
    Oh maaan ... I was sure all along that her husband had cancelled the traditional phone line and went VoIP ...

    Dial Up on a VoIP line would have made a real cool WTF ...
  • gorrillla10101 2013-01-10 10:04
    @Deprecated:
    Leo:
    LoremIpsumDolorSitAmet:
    letatio:
    Andrew:
    Maybe I'm missing something... Did I read this right? Instead of calling AOL, she phoned random numbers at the varsity and lied and get help from their IT instead?


    Should have told her to cat /dev/zero > /dev/hda

    Better to use /dev/urandom. Zeroes compress too easily.


    That makes no sense: zeroes are big and round, while ones are skinny. So by using urandom, you're introducing ones, which will compress together much more than big round zeroes.

    Pfft, and the university president said you were smart.


    You're nuts. Ones are made of solid pixels, whereas zeros have that big hole in the middle.


    Which would technically compress down to about the same size. A deflated 0 is a 1.
  • Not Kevin Mitnick 2013-01-10 10:15
    So, we have a story today about someone smart enough to social engineer an unnamed university's IT system but too dumb to do anything interesting with the access.

    TRWTF.
    ^
  • Yogi 2013-01-10 10:16
    Anyone with brains could see that a 0 has twice as many sides as a 1, and therefore would only compress to twice the width.
  • gallier2 2013-01-10 10:32
    NoVOIP:
    Oh maaan ... I was sure all along that her husband had cancelled the traditional phone line and went VoIP ...

    Dial Up on a VoIP line would have made a real cool WTF ...


    But it works, I had to do that to connect a traditional FAX.
  • Joe 2013-01-10 10:37
    @Deprecated:
    You're nuts. Ones are made of solid pixels, whereas zeros have that big hole in the middle.


    Which compresses better, a Krispy-Kreme (with a hole in the middle) or a Twinkie (RIP)? Clearly, a university research grant is called for.

    --Joe
  • TGV 2013-01-10 10:41
    HeeHaw:
    Paul:
    OK, this one had me totally buying in to the retired university story, because that is exactly how university employees act when they want something.
    You weren't accepted to grad school, i see.
    I also found it a bit resentful, but it is true that universities have quite a large number of people who've their head stuck up their own arse. Plus, it makes a good story.
  • C-Octothorpe 2013-01-10 10:45
    TGV:
    HeeHaw:
    Paul:
    OK, this one had me totally buying in to the retired university story, because that is exactly how university employees act when they want something.
    You weren't accepted to grad school, i see.
    I also found it a bit resentful, but it is true that universities have quite a large number of people who've their head stuck up their own arse. Plus, it makes a good story.
    inb4 "those who can, do; those who can't, teach."
  • John Hensley 2013-01-10 10:54
    Yogi:
    Anyone with brains could see that a 0 has twice as many sides as a 1, and therefore would only compress to twice the width.

    FYI these jokes are not very good
  • Tracy 2013-01-10 11:01
    You've apparently never worked IT with medical doctors as clients. They are convinced that a medical degree is the same as a genius certificate and anyone without it is a moron, and most of their colleagues with them are morons also. They are also in the important business of saving lives so any IT delay is an emergency that could KILL SOMEONE.
  • Valued Service 2013-01-10 11:20
    gorrillla10101:


    Which would technically compress down to about the same size. A deflated 0 is a 1.


    Wrong.

    If you walk line by line, there's two pixels per line for a 0 for every line. Depending on the font, at most half the lines have two pixels for a 1, and on some fonts, none of the lines have two pixels. But for some fonts, that horizontal line at the bottom is really long and makes 5 pixels, so you really have to count carefully and determine by font whether 0 or 1 compresses smaller.
  • Sean 2013-01-10 11:21
    Hmm, may be from you we should take away all the stuff that came out of ideas from the people who lack productivity and have only clout. I am sure you would be very productive dragging a hoe or plow in a remote farm. But wait, even those tools or things like irrigation to get water away from rivers were discovered by people who were not productive in your thinking (if ever there was an oxymoron) and thought so that someone like you can live.

    Guess it hurts to be around people who can think when all you are qualified to do is answer the phone and read from a script; if you can find the right one.
  • Anon 2013-01-10 11:32
    Paul:
    OK, this one had me totally buying in to the retired university story, because that is exactly how university employees act when they want something.

    You see, if you're dumb, you leave school at some point to work in the Real World where your employer can't back your paycheck unless you all get your act together and provide some product or service people want bad enough to pay for it.

    But if you're really smart, the university people well welcome you to the inner circle as one of their own, and you will go straight from Mommy and Daddy paying your tuition to begging the Government for handouts (grants). You never have the experience of being required to produce something of value.

    Therefore your value is not measured by productivity, but by this nebulous thing called clout. You've published papers that are more important than the other guy. You've been there longer. You know the assistant to the janitor of the guy who wipes the Dean's ass. Whatever you can find, you glom onto it and trumpet it about to prove your standing.

    And woe be to the lowly tech support peon who fails to bow in submission to your greatness. Trivia like unplugged power cords are just excuses for your abject craven maliciousness in failing to acknowledge their clout. Therefore you must be yelled at in louder and more dramatic terms until it penetrates your thick skull that they are fucking important dammit so you better fix their shit right now or face their wrath!!!

    Used to happen to me every day.

    If you were clever you could get two of them at your desk at the same time, each trying to outclout the other, and just sit back and watch the sparks fly. Quite entertaining at first, but it gets old. And of course the job didn't pay nearly enough to compensate for that, so I moved on.

    But the opening paragraphs are 100% realistic.


    DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM DAMMIT!!!
  • Cogo the Barbarian 2013-01-10 11:35
    John Hensley:
    Yogi:
    Anyone with brains could see that a 0 has twice as many sides as a 1, and therefore would only compress to twice the width.

    FYI these jokes are not very good


    But we make it up with volume! (While achieving excellent compression ratios for the conversation.)
  • swschrad 2013-01-10 11:35
    the real WTF was letting her daughter con her into a cell phone without an RJ-12 jack on the side for the modem.
  • cellocgw 2013-01-10 12:01
    Paul:
    OK, this one had me totally buying in to the retired university story, because that is exactly how university employees act when they want something.

    You see, if you're dumb, you leave school at some point to work in the Real World where your employer can't back your paycheck unless you all get your act together and provide some product or service people want bad enough to pay for it.

    Well, who shat on your donut this morning? You pissed because some Prof. thought he was smarter than you, but you know you're The Smartest Person In The Universe?

    sheesh
  • Spewin Coffee 2013-01-10 12:10
    Paul:
    OK, this one had me totally buying in to the retired university story, because that is exactly how university employees act when they want something.

    You see, if you're dumb, you leave school at some point to work in the Real World where your employer can't back your paycheck unless you all get your act together and provide some product or service people want bad enough to pay for it.

    But if you're really smart, the university people well welcome you to the inner circle as one of their own, and you will go straight from Mommy and Daddy paying your tuition to begging the Government for handouts (grants). You never have the experience of being required to produce something of value.

    Therefore your value is not measured by productivity, but by this nebulous thing called clout. You've published papers that are more important than the other guy. You've been there longer. You know the assistant to the janitor of the guy who wipes the Dean's ass. Whatever you can find, you glom onto it and trumpet it about to prove your standing.

    And woe be to the lowly tech support peon who fails to bow in submission to your greatness. Trivia like unplugged power cords are just excuses for your abject craven maliciousness in failing to acknowledge their clout. Therefore you must be yelled at in louder and more dramatic terms until it penetrates your thick skull that they are fucking important dammit so you better fix their shit right now or face their wrath!!!

    Used to happen to me every day.

    If you were clever you could get two of them at your desk at the same time, each trying to outclout the other, and just sit back and watch the sparks fly. Quite entertaining at first, but it gets old. And of course the job didn't pay nearly enough to compensate for that, so I moved on.

    But the opening paragraphs are 100% realistic.


    I'm not surprised. If Scott Adams hasn't done something about university faculty life in Dilbert, he should. This is perfect for that strip.
  • kbiel 2013-01-10 12:33
    TRWTF is that to this day Jim is still not aware that someone in his department pranked him. I wonder if he also emptied the bit bucket daily and filled out all the ID10T forms.
  • F 2013-01-10 12:41
    letatio:
    Andrew:
    Maybe I'm missing something... Did I read this right? Instead of calling AOL, she phoned random numbers at the varsity and lied and get help from their IT instead?


    Should have told her to cat /dev/zero > /dev/hda


    Given how fucking stupid she's just shown herself to be, that would probably result in cruelty to an innocent animal.
  • operagost 2013-01-10 12:46
    Sean:
    Hmm, may be from you we should take away all the stuff that came out of ideas from the people who lack productivity and have only clout. I am sure you would be very productive dragging a hoe or plow in a remote farm. But wait, even those tools or things like irrigation to get water away from rivers were discovered by people who were not productive in your thinking (if ever there was an oxymoron) and thought so that someone like you can live.

    Guess it hurts to be around people who can think when all you are qualified to do is answer the phone and read from a script; if you can find the right one.

    Haven't figured out how to quote someone in your reply? I guess you don't have time with that paper you're writing on fruit fly reproduction in avocados while exposed to Great White's "Once Bitten". Maybe if you get more federal funding, you can hire a few assistants. Make sure you put "drosophila melanogaster" in the application to make it sound really good; that should net a few mil from the taxpayers.
  • savar 2013-01-10 13:04
    LoremIpsumDolorSitAmet:
    So TRWTF is that Jim didn't properly authenticate the caller? Maybe there really was a MARYB and she got lucky, but a little more digging would have ratted her out.

    Also, his very FRIST question should have been whether she could get a dial tone.


    I guess Jim didn't even try to look up the maryb account to see if it existed? Or did this woman happen to guess both the name of a university worker from 15 years ago AND the format of usernames they used back then?

    Also, Jim doesn't fix her problem at all, and she suddenly bursts out that the uni support is so much better than AOL? So she's just pleased that somebody answered the phone and not bothered in the least that she still can't get online...

    This story sucks.
  • sammybaby 2013-01-10 13:15
    Actually, as much as I might sympathize with Mary's husband, I think he was actually wrong in this case. An AOL tech would have asked them to check for dial tone within the first minute of the call.
  • WhiskeyJack 2013-01-10 13:17
    My best modem story was a solution that combined old tech with new tech.

    Back in 2004 or so, I was at a retreat and conference center in California that was designed for spiritual solitude and yada-yada-yada. Bottom line, no phone lines in the bedrooms, and obviously no wifi or internet access.

    But I did have a cell phone and laptop, both Bluetooth enabled. (Oh, and cell phones didn't have EDGE or 3G at that time yet. They did have GPRS, which was next to useless.)

    And, back home in Canada, I still had a working dialup ISP account.

    So the solution: pair the cell phone with the laptop as a Bluetooth wireless modem. Call international long-distance to my home ISP and establish a dialup connection over the cell line. I was able to successfully connect at 9600 baud, not really very useful for web browsing but sufficient to check my email every day.

    When I look back at how not-that-long-ago that was, and how much more connected we are today, it blows my mind.

    What blows my mind more: sure, it cost me a couple bucks in long distance roaming fees to make those calls. But to roam on 3G networks internationally today would cost MORE. Yikes!
  • urza9814 2013-01-10 13:23
    Valued Service:
    gorrillla10101:


    Which would technically compress down to about the same size. A deflated 0 is a 1.


    Wrong.

    If you walk line by line, there's two pixels per line for a 0 for every line. Depending on the font, at most half the lines have two pixels for a 1, and on some fonts, none of the lines have two pixels. But for some fonts, that horizontal line at the bottom is really long and makes 5 pixels, so you really have to count carefully and determine by font whether 0 or 1 compresses smaller.


    I believe the original comment was about the compression _ratio_. Arguing which one is smaller misses the point...a 0 can be squeezed, while a 1 cannot. So even if the 0 is larger in the end result, it would still have a greater compression ratio!

    Unless...maybe if you folded up the foot of the 1 up? Would depend on the font then I suspect. This requires more research!
  • jay 2013-01-10 13:32
    Sean:
    Hmm, may be from you we should take away all the stuff that came out of ideas from the people who lack productivity and have only clout. I am sure you would be very productive dragging a hoe or plow in a remote farm. But wait, even those tools or things like irrigation to get water away from rivers were discovered by people who were not productive in your thinking (if ever there was an oxymoron) and thought so that someone like you can live.

    Guess it hurts to be around people who can think when all you are qualified to do is answer the phone and read from a script; if you can find the right one.


    This post is based on the curious assumption that all great thinkers and inventors are university professors, and that all university professors are great thinkers and inventors.

    I don't think anyone knows who invented the hoe, the plow, and irrigation, but I think it's a fair bet that none of them were university professors. It's quite possible that those inventions were made by farmers looking for a way to make their own job easier.

    The original poster didn't make fun of great thinkers. He made fun of university professors who imagine themselves to be great thinkers.

    This post reminds me of all the times I've heard someone say, "How dare you question me! I am a scientist, and scientists have made many great discoveries, from nuclear power to the airplane to vaccines. We scientists have proven ourselves again and again." But of course, the person making these statements is almost never the person who invented nuclear power or discovered DNA or whatever. He just groups himself with these people by calling himself and them by the same name, and then claims credit for all their accomplishments.
  • PRMan 2013-01-10 13:42
    Paul:
    OK, this one had me totally buying in to the retired university story, because that is exactly how university employees act when they want something.

    You see, if you're dumb, you leave school at some point to work in the Real World where your employer can't back your paycheck unless you all get your act together and provide some product or service people want bad enough to pay for it.

    But if you're really smart, the university people well welcome you to the inner circle as one of their own, and you will go straight from Mommy and Daddy paying your tuition to begging the Government for handouts (grants). You never have the experience of being required to produce something of value.

    Therefore your value is not measured by productivity, but by this nebulous thing called clout. You've published papers that are more important than the other guy. You've been there longer. You know the assistant to the janitor of the guy who wipes the Dean's ass. Whatever you can find, you glom onto it and trumpet it about to prove your standing.

    And woe be to the lowly tech support peon who fails to bow in submission to your greatness. Trivia like unplugged power cords are just excuses for your abject craven maliciousness in failing to acknowledge their clout. Therefore you must be yelled at in louder and more dramatic terms until it penetrates your thick skull that they are fucking important dammit so you better fix their shit right now or face their wrath!!!

    Used to happen to me every day.

    If you were clever you could get two of them at your desk at the same time, each trying to outclout the other, and just sit back and watch the sparks fly. Quite entertaining at first, but it gets old. And of course the job didn't pay nearly enough to compensate for that, so I moved on.

    But the opening paragraphs are 100% realistic.


    I used to work at a University and this was 100% true. The good news, though, is that I had quite a bit of clout myself for a 24-year-old, and got several students' financial aid situations worked out where they were being unfairly denied by talking directly to the President and Vice Presidents.
  • Evan 2013-01-10 13:46
    urza9814:
    Unless...maybe if you folded up the foot of the 1 up? Would depend on the font then I suspect. This requires more research!

    What's the smallest shape of a given area? A circle. So what you need to do is just make as close to a circle from all the pixels in the 0 and 1 as you can.

    You could even then just record the radius of that circle as your compression method!
  • russ0519 2013-01-10 14:06
    Evan:
    urza9814:
    Unless...maybe if you folded up the foot of the 1 up? Would depend on the font then I suspect. This requires more research!

    What's the smallest shape of a given area? A circle. So what you need to do is just make as close to a circle from all the pixels in the 0 and 1 as you can.

    You could even then just record the radius of that circle as your compression method!




    1=1.38KB
    0=2.86KB

    QED
  • Jeff 2013-01-10 14:08
    TGV:
    HeeHaw:
    Paul:
    OK, this one had me totally buying in to the retired university story, because that is exactly how university employees act when they want something.
    You weren't accepted to grad school, i see.
    I also found it a bit resentful, but it is true that universities have quite a large number of people who've their head stuck up their own arse. Plus, it makes a good story.
    One of my favorite insults: He's got his head so far up his ass he can see out of his own mouth.
  • Paul 2013-01-10 14:14
    Tracy:
    You've apparently never worked IT with medical doctors as clients. They are convinced that a medical degree is the same as a genius certificate and anyone without it is a moron, and most of their colleagues with them are morons also. They are also in the important business of saving lives so any IT delay is an emergency that could KILL SOMEONE.
    True. Real Doctor (TM) support is worse than PhD Doctor support.

    But the PhDs know they can't resort to the life-or-death argument, which just frustrates them all the more, making them yell louder and stomp their feet harder.

    There's almost an inverse ratio. The true geniuses have a calm quiet air about them, because everybody knows they've earned respect. The wannabe hangers-on struggle mightily over who gets the bottom rung on the ladder.
  • Frank 2013-01-10 14:28
    jay:
    I don't think anyone knows who invented the hoe, the plow, and irrigation, but I think it's a fair bet that none of them were university professors.
    If I'm sitting in my field pulling weeds by hand and some clever guy comes up and demonstrates his new invention, the hoe, I will happily buy it from him because he's providing some product or service people want bad enough to pay for it. I don't care whether he's from the university or not.

    The people who can't produce anything anybody is willing to buy are left with only one alternative: beg for money. Or I guess they could just steal it. No wait, why take the risk of your victims shooting back when the government goons will steal it for you and hand it over if you ask nicely?

    Which is why you get guys who graduate from begging daddy for money for ho's to begging the government for money so they can invent hoes.
  • A Luser 2013-01-10 14:35
    Smug Unix User:
    Real IT doesn't answer phone calls.


    "Hello, IT..."

    "Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

    "right. Thank you!"
    <click>
  • Fry-kun 2013-01-10 14:40
    TRWTF is that nobody called out the author on "Jim from IT" yet






    Seriously, did nobody else even chuckle at that?


    Captcha: decet
  • Ralph 2013-01-10 14:41
    The "R"s of tech support:

    Retry
    Reboot
    Reinstall
    Refund!
  • someone 2013-01-10 15:28
    Frank:

    The people who can't produce anything anybody is willing to buy are left with only one alternative: beg for money. Or I guess they could just steal it. No wait, why take the risk of your victims shooting back when the government goons will steal it for you and hand it over if you ask nicely?

    Which is why you get guys who graduate from begging daddy for money for ho's to begging the government for money so they can invent hoes.


    There is another reason that you need to beg for money: You gave all your hoes aways for free!


    Publishing a exact description on how to make hoes, so every one can have a hoe, not just some privileged people who can afford to buy one.
  • BeerJane 2013-01-10 15:34
    WhiskeyJack:
    My best modem story was a solution that combined old tech with new tech.

    Back in 2004 or so, I was at a retreat and conference center in California that was designed for spiritual solitude and yada-yada-yada. Bottom line, no phone lines in the bedrooms, and obviously no wifi or internet access.

    But I did have a cell phone and laptop, both Bluetooth enabled. (Oh, and cell phones didn't have EDGE or 3G at that time yet. They did have GPRS, which was next to useless.)

    And, back home in Canada, I still had a working dialup ISP account.

    So the solution: pair the cell phone with the laptop as a Bluetooth wireless modem. Call international long-distance to my home ISP and establish a dialup connection over the cell line. I was able to successfully connect at 9600 baud, not really very useful for web browsing but sufficient to check my email every day.

    When I look back at how not-that-long-ago that was, and how much more connected we are today, it blows my mind.

    What blows my mind more: sure, it cost me a couple bucks in long distance roaming fees to make those calls. But to roam on 3G networks internationally today would cost MORE. Yikes!


    This troll shows some promise. How many people will bite?
  • Matt Westwood 2013-01-10 15:39
    John Hensley:
    TRWTF is Jim's failure to tell Mary to go to hell before hanging up.


    "Aha, this needs a specialist maintenance hack. I doubt you have the necessary equipment at your home base - we'll have to improvise. Tell me, do you have some ice cubes - colder the better? You'll need as many as you can find. And also I'm going to need you to find a wooden spoon, or spatula or something, it's got to be wooden ... "

    etc. etc. etc. and on until:

    "Right, now take that wooden spoon, which by now should be at the correct temperature ... and shove it up your arse as far it it will fucking go."
  • Karl 2013-01-10 15:44
    someone:
    Frank:

    The people who can't produce anything anybody is willing to buy are left with only one alternative: beg for money. Or I guess they could just steal it. No wait, why take the risk of your victims shooting back when the government goons will steal it for you and hand it over if you ask nicely?

    Which is why you get guys who graduate from begging daddy for money for ho's to begging the government for money so they can invent hoes.


    There is another reason that you need to beg for money: You gave all your hoes aways for free!


    Publishing a exact description on how to make hoes, so every one can have a hoe, not just some privileged people who can afford to buy one.
    You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.

    I think that's how we got the housing bubble that destroyed the world's economy, as leftist schemes always will. Banks forced to loan to people who had no down payment. But hey at least some politicians got to brag about how they were helping the homeless, so there's that.
  • someone 2013-01-10 16:11
    Karl:
    You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.

    Exactly!


    How does it benefit anyone, if someone does not have a hoe , has to do it manually and cannot do anything more productively in that time?

    And soon 3d printer can create an arbitrary number of those hoes...

    Karl:

    I think that's how we got the housing bubble that destroyed the world's economy, as leftist schemes always will.


    Absolutely not!

    If people were allowed to just camp on an empty field, instead of proving that they have earned the right to be somewhere with that loan, there would not be any problem.

    The left position always was that loans are going to destroy the economy and must be abolished.
  • Cromar 2013-01-10 16:18
    It is so concerning when people do not equate education and research with value. I'm guessing your problems at whatever university you worked at had more to do with your bad attitude than anyone else's.
  • Friedrice The Great 2013-01-10 16:21
    Tracy:
    You've apparently never worked IT with medical doctors as clients. They are convinced that a medical degree is the same as a genius certificate and anyone without it is a moron, and most of their colleagues with them are morons also. They are also in the important business of saving lives so any IT delay is an emergency that could KILL SOMEONE.


    Some doctors (such as radiologists) have the social skills of rocks, too.
  • Captcha:usitas 2013-01-10 16:31
    With all these silly jokes you missed the real problem here: why is there a /dev/zero but not a /dev/one? Does Linus hate ones or are they just too big to generate in real time?
  • Capitalist 2013-01-10 16:33
    [quote][quote user="someone"][quote user="Karl"]You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.
    [/quote]
    Exactly!


    How does it benefit anyone, if someone does not have a hoe , has to do it manually and cannot do anything more productively in that time?[/quote]It benefits me and my friends. How else could we look down on those peasants who can't even afford a hoe (whatever that is)!
    [quote]And soon 3d printer can create an arbitrary number of those hoes...[/quote]Fortunately, we still have copyright, patents and intellectual property to stop that.
    [quote][quote user="Karl"]
    I think that's how we got the housing bubble that destroyed the world's economy, as leftist schemes always will. [/quote]

    Absolutely not!

    If people were allowed to just camp on an empty field, instead of proving that they have earned the right to be somewhere with that loan, there would not be any problem.

    The left position always was that loans are going to destroy the economy and must be abolished.[/quote]Rubbish! The housing bubble was created by this left socialist government. Or maybe the previous government which was also socialist.
  • Capitalist 2013-01-10 16:35
    What a stupid comment software! Can't even get the quotes right. Listen you smart programmers: If the quoting don't match, either fix it or give me some red error message. Don't post the article which renders wrong!

    So again:

    someone:
    Karl:
    You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.

    Exactly!


    How does it benefit anyone, if someone does not have a hoe , has to do it manually and cannot do anything more productively in that time?
    It benefits me and my friends. How else could we look down on those peasants who can't even afford a hoe (whatever that is)!
    And soon 3d printer can create an arbitrary number of those hoes...
    Fortunately, we still have copyright, patents and intellectual property to stop that.
    Karl:

    I think that's how we got the housing bubble that destroyed the world's economy, as leftist schemes always will.


    Absolutely not!

    If people were allowed to just camp on an empty field, instead of proving that they have earned the right to be somewhere with that loan, there would not be any problem.

    The left position always was that loans are going to destroy the economy and must be abolished.
    Rubbish! The housing bubble was created by this left socialist government. Or maybe the previous government which was also socialist.
  • PedanticCurmudgeon 2013-01-10 16:44
    Sean:
    Hmm, may be from you we should take away all the stuff that came out of ideas from the people who lack productivity and have only clout. I am sure you would be very productive dragging a hoe or plow in a remote farm. But wait, even those tools or things like irrigation to get water away from rivers were discovered by people who were not productive in your thinking (if ever there was an oxymoron) and thought so that someone like you can live.

    Guess it hurts to be around people who can think when all you are qualified to do is answer the phone and read from a script; if you can find the right one.
    9/10, would flame (but it looks like a couple of people already did).
  • Tod 2013-01-10 16:56
    BeerJane:
    WhiskeyJack:
    My best modem story was a solution that combined old tech with new tech.

    Back in 2004 or so, I was at a retreat and conference center in California that was designed for spiritual solitude and yada-yada-yada. Bottom line, no phone lines in the bedrooms, and obviously no wifi or internet access.

    But I did have a cell phone and laptop, both Bluetooth enabled. (Oh, and cell phones didn't have EDGE or 3G at that time yet. They did have GPRS, which was next to useless.)

    And, back home in Canada, I still had a working dialup ISP account.

    So the solution: pair the cell phone with the laptop as a Bluetooth wireless modem. Call international long-distance to my home ISP and establish a dialup connection over the cell line. I was able to successfully connect at 9600 baud, not really very useful for web browsing but sufficient to check my email every day.

    When I look back at how not-that-long-ago that was, and how much more connected we are today, it blows my mind.

    What blows my mind more: sure, it cost me a couple bucks in long distance roaming fees to make those calls. But to roam on 3G networks internationally today would cost MORE. Yikes!


    This troll shows some promise. How many people will bite?

    Huh?
  • Slickk 2013-01-10 17:05
    Sean:
    Hmm, may be from you we should take away all the stuff that came out of ideas from the people who lack productivity and have only clout. I am sure you would be very productive dragging a hoe or plow in a remote farm. But wait, even those tools or things like irrigation to get water away from rivers were discovered by people who were not productive in your thinking (if ever there was an oxymoron) and thought so that someone like you can live.

    Guess it hurts to be around people who can think when all you are qualified to do is answer the phone and read from a script; if you can find the right one.
    Err....I think most of the worlds (useful) inventions came from backyard inventors and commercial research - NOT the world of academia.
    Often things might even have been invented without the inventor really understanding the science behind it....
  • drake 2013-01-10 17:07
    I sense much butt hurt in this thread from probable university staff/professors/grad students. Haha... higher education can be a great tool to improve your intelligence, but lots of idiots don't know how to use the tool and just assume that it worked when it didn't...

    Much like MaryB and her dial-up internet
  • John 2013-01-10 17:11
    savar:
    LoremIpsumDolorSitAmet:
    So TRWTF is that Jim didn't properly authenticate the caller? Maybe there really was a MARYB and she got lucky, but a little more digging would have ratted her out.

    Also, his very FRIST question should have been whether she could get a dial tone.


    I guess Jim didn't even try to look up the maryb account to see if it existed? Or did this woman happen to guess both the name of a university worker from 15 years ago AND the format of usernames they used back then?

    Also, Jim doesn't fix her problem at all, and she suddenly bursts out that the uni support is so much better than AOL? So she's just pleased that somebody answered the phone and not bothered in the least that she still can't get online...

    This story sucks.
    The account name does seem bodgey - she needs to know how they're made as well as
  • urza9814 2013-01-10 17:12
    Capitalist:
    What a stupid comment software! Can't even get the quotes right. Listen you smart programmers: If the quoting don't match, either fix it or give me some red error message. Don't post the article which renders wrong!

    So again:

    someone:
    Karl:
    You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.

    Exactly!


    How does it benefit anyone, if someone does not have a hoe , has to do it manually and cannot do anything more productively in that time?
    It benefits me and my friends. How else could we look down on those peasants who can't even afford a hoe (whatever that is)!
    And soon 3d printer can create an arbitrary number of those hoes...
    Fortunately, we still have copyright, patents and intellectual property to stop that.
    Karl:

    I think that's how we got the housing bubble that destroyed the world's economy, as leftist schemes always will.


    Absolutely not!

    If people were allowed to just camp on an empty field, instead of proving that they have earned the right to be somewhere with that loan, there would not be any problem.

    The left position always was that loans are going to destroy the economy and must be abolished.
    Rubbish! The housing bubble was created by this left socialist government. Or maybe the previous government which was also socialist.


    Not socialist -- corporatist. Which is why, when all of those loans failed, they just paid back the banks' losses and continued the same disasterous policies. Leftist/socialists would have let the banks fail...and would not have let them take advantage of people with these predatory lending practices in the first place. The deregulation that allowed them to do that was capitalist; the government assurance that they wouldn't lose was corporatist.
  • urza9814 2013-01-10 17:18
    urza9814:
    Capitalist:
    What a stupid comment software! Can't even get the quotes right. Listen you smart programmers: If the quoting don't match, either fix it or give me some red error message. Don't post the article which renders wrong!

    So again:

    someone:
    Karl:
    You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.

    Exactly!


    How does it benefit anyone, if someone does not have a hoe , has to do it manually and cannot do anything more productively in that time?
    It benefits me and my friends. How else could we look down on those peasants who can't even afford a hoe (whatever that is)!
    And soon 3d printer can create an arbitrary number of those hoes...
    Fortunately, we still have copyright, patents and intellectual property to stop that.
    Karl:

    I think that's how we got the housing bubble that destroyed the world's economy, as leftist schemes always will.


    Absolutely not!

    If people were allowed to just camp on an empty field, instead of proving that they have earned the right to be somewhere with that loan, there would not be any problem.

    The left position always was that loans are going to destroy the economy and must be abolished.
    Rubbish! The housing bubble was created by this left socialist government. Or maybe the previous government which was also socialist.


    Not socialist -- corporatist. Which is why, when all of those loans failed, they just paid back the banks' losses and continued the same disasterous policies. Leftist/socialists would have let the banks fail...and would not have let them take advantage of people with these predatory lending practices in the first place. The deregulation that allowed them to do that was capitalist; the government assurance that they wouldn't lose was corporatist.


    Also worth noting that hardcore leftists generally oppose government as a whole, preferring instead a society based on consent and mutual aid. The difference between an anarcho-syndicalist (which are generally the people calling themselves "leftist", to differentiate themselves from the nanny-state liberals) and an anarcho-capitalist (the people who generally use the term "libertarian") is not about _government_, which both want to abolish, but about the best way to organize a society and culture without government. The anarcho-capitalists think it should be an every man for himself free-for-all, while the syndicalists would prefer a cooperative society of strong, democratic communities.
  • someone 2013-01-10 17:44
    Capitalist:
    It benefits me and my friends. How else could we look down on those peasants who can't even afford a hoe (whatever that is)!


    Well, that sounds reasonable...

    Capitalist:
    Rubbish! The housing bubble was created by this left socialist government. Or maybe the previous government which was also socialist.


    Here in Europe I have often heard the US did not have a left government, since they killed all the Indians/Native Americans off...


  • suscipere 2013-01-10 17:54
    Karl:
    You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.

    Well, duh. That's pretty much the objective of humanity. If we ever manage to get into that "post-scarcity era" when resources are basically free, only a goddamn monster would not give everything to everyone.

    Now if you talk about giving people more stuff than we can actually afford to, that's not even leftist, that's retarded populism.
  • snuffy 2013-01-10 17:56
    So is it like a TDWTF thing where literally everyone posting in the comments is trolling?
    Because if not then there are a hell of a lot of populist IT guys out there who can't wait to tell everyone how them thar doctors with all them fancy book learnin's ain't so smart after all.
  • Meep 2013-01-10 18:18
    Evo:
    The real WTF if a *tech* guy being socially engineered by a clueless woman...


    Not at all. Con is short for confidence, a con-job depends on convincing the mark that the con-artist is genuine.

    Appealing to your ego and pride is a typical way to accomplish that. Lots of people will act clueless or helpless to get what they want, this woman probably does it without thinking.

    The professionals work the same way; look at the Nigerian scammers: they're perfectly happy for you to believe that they're ignorant foreign (black) idiots who couldn't possibly outwit a savvy Westerner.
  • Meep 2013-01-10 18:20
    Capitalist:
    What a stupid comment software! Can't even get the quotes right. Listen you smart programmers: If the quoting don't match, either fix it or give me some red error message. Don't post the article which renders wrong!


    That really is fucking annoying.
  • Norman Diamond 2013-01-10 18:56
    WhiskeyJack:
    So the solution: pair the cell phone with the laptop as a Bluetooth wireless modem. Call international long-distance to my home ISP and establish a dialup connection over the cell line. I was able to successfully connect at 9600 baud, not really very useful for web browsing but sufficient to check my email every day.
    It's still the same today, though the modem+cell phone can be plugged into a USB port instead of using Bluetooth. When a vendor performs some work inside a multinational's data centre and has to send a report before leaving, the vendor isn't allowed to deliver the report on a USB memory stick or connect to the client's LAN, so the vendor has to dial up and send e-mail.

    It's also still the same in less developed countries. Cable companies have brought wired internet to some of the bigger villages and one village even has wired phone lines now, but otherwise cellular is the only way.
  • David 2013-01-10 19:30
    Yeah, Paul, because bosses are never assholes with unrealistic expectations. We don't have those posts here on a regular basis.

    If universities weren't required to produce something of value, then why do businesses require a college degree for so many jobs? If businesses value productivity, then obviously colleges are productive, because otherwise businesses wouldn't value them.
  • Gigaplex 2013-01-10 19:33
    Except you're typically using the 3G or whatever the cell data plan uses, not using dialup via a conventional cell call like WhiskeyJack described.
  • Peter 2013-01-10 20:11
    Anon:
    DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM DAMMIT!!!
    Well, you've posted as "Anon (unregistered)". So no, not really.
  • Robert White 2013-01-10 20:49
    There is an old saying I will hereby mangle:

    The reason that the politics in academia are so intense is because the stakes are so small.

    I worked in education and there is nothing more self-important than an unimportant faculty member.
  • herby 2013-01-10 21:01
    Now to complete the task, all we need to do is advise MARYB to turn on the WiFi in her computer and look for a hotspot.

    Simple solution if you ask me! Dial-up is for wimps!
  • sailsman 2013-01-11 00:19
    True... but to have VoIP, you need high-speed hard line internet access... Kind of a chicken and egg problem.

    Even today, some people have a choice between dial-up and (expensive) satellite. Within an hour drive of a major university. (Don't ask how I know)
  • Norman Diamond 2013-01-11 00:36
    Actually some cellular phone companies blocked Skype because customers figured out that VoIP over cellular data was cheaper than cellular voice. I think phone companies finally figured out they can't win that one.
  • Jon Haugsand 2013-01-11 01:53
    http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2004-12-09/
  • A. Nonymous 2013-01-11 03:31
    Capitalist:
    What a stupid comment software! Can't even get the quotes right. Listen you smart programmers: If the quoting don't match, either fix it or give me some red error message. Don't post the article which renders wrong!

    So again:

    someone:
    Karl:
    You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.

    Exactly!


    How does it benefit anyone, if someone does not have a hoe , has to do it manually and cannot do anything more productively in that time?
    It benefits me and my friends. How else could we look down on those peasants who can't even afford a hoe (whatever that is)!
    And soon 3d printer can create an arbitrary number of those hoes...
    Fortunately, we still have copyright, patents and intellectual property to stop that.
    Karl:

    I think that's how we got the housing bubble that destroyed the world's economy, as leftist schemes always will.


    Absolutely not!

    If people were allowed to just camp on an empty field, instead of proving that they have earned the right to be somewhere with that loan, there would not be any problem.

    The left position always was that loans are going to destroy the economy and must be abolished.
    Rubbish! The housing bubble was created by this left socialist government. Or maybe the previous government which was also socialist.


    You americans never had a socialist government! The only types of government you know is right and far right.
  • CA 2013-01-11 04:07
    Karl:
    You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.

    I think that's how we got the housing bubble that destroyed the world's economy, as leftist schemes always will. Banks forced to loan to people who had no down payment. But hey at least some politicians got to brag about how they were helping the homeless, so there's that.


    So it is leftist schemes who destroyed global economies and not the neoliberal capitalist monster, which has achieved global poverty while a handful of people own billions. The housing bubble was caused from the greed of banks, who wish for the global population to owe them and be their slaves and thus gave out loans like crazy.
  • foxyshadis 2013-01-11 04:35
    LoremIpsumDolorSitAmet:
    So TRWTF is that Jim didn't properly authenticate the caller? Maybe there really was a MARYB and she got lucky, but a little more digging would have ratted her out.

    Also, his very FRIST question should have been whether she could get a dial tone.

    At this point it's been... 10 years maybe? since I've had to interact with dial-up in any way. Wait, no, there was that one-weekend outage when I used my DSL ISP's dial-up numbers to get on 6 years ago. I doubt I'd have a mental checklist to run down since I never had to actually support it and have no idea how modern OSes do it. Hell, I barely even remember how you do it in 98 or XP, or what any error codes mean.
  • Mew Ichigo 2013-01-11 04:49
    A. Nonymous:
    Capitalist:
    What a stupid comment software! Can't even get the quotes right. Listen you smart programmers: If the quoting don't match, either fix it or give me some red error message. Don't post the article which renders wrong!

    So again:

    someone:
    Karl:
    You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.

    Exactly!


    How does it benefit anyone, if someone does not have a hoe , has to do it manually and cannot do anything more productively in that time?
    It benefits me and my friends. How else could we look down on those peasants who can't even afford a hoe (whatever that is)!
    And soon 3d printer can create an arbitrary number of those hoes...
    Fortunately, we still have copyright, patents and intellectual property to stop that.
    Karl:

    I think that's how we got the housing bubble that destroyed the world's economy, as leftist schemes always will.


    Absolutely not!

    If people were allowed to just camp on an empty field, instead of proving that they have earned the right to be somewhere with that loan, there would not be any problem.

    The left position always was that loans are going to destroy the economy and must be abolished.
    Rubbish! The housing bubble was created by this left socialist government. Or maybe the previous government which was also socialist.


    You americans never had a socialist government! The only types of government you know is right and far right.


    Americans bickering about their "left" and "right" governments show a striking similarity to people comparing McDonald's to Burger King and claiming one is healthier than the other.

    </troll>
  • Paul 2013-01-11 04:56
    CA:
    The housing bubble was caused from the greed of banks, who wish for the global population to owe them and be their slaves and thus gave out loans like crazy.


    Alternatively, the housing bubble was caused from the greed of people, who wanted things they couldn't afford and were too stupid to realise that it was a bad idea to take out a loan that would take 3,000 years to pay back at 5 times your current salary.

    Yes, blame the banks who lend money, rather than those who borrow it. Blame the big corporates rather than the people who make them into big corporates by continuing to buy stuff from them while complaining about it. Blame companies who outsource abroad, while lapping up all the products that you can buy more cheaply now BECAUSE they have outsourced abroad. Etc

    The real answer is that pretty much everyone was culpable, but people like to blame OTHER people rather than accept blame themselves.

  • F 2013-01-11 05:16
    Paul:
    CA:
    The housing bubble was caused from the greed of banks, who wish for the global population to owe them and be their slaves and thus gave out loans like crazy.


    Alternatively, the housing bubble was caused from the greed of people, who wanted things they couldn't afford and were too stupid to realise that it was a bad idea to take out a loan that would take 3,000 years to pay back at 5 times your current salary.


    But the whole point was that you wouldn't ever need to pay it back. House prices were going to rise at ten percent a year forever, so after twenty years or so you could sell, pay off the loan, and still be a millionaire on the profits. That's what the banks told you, and the government was there to back them up, so they must be right.

    The real answer is that pretty much everyone was culpable, but people like to blame OTHER people rather than accept blame themselves.


    Indeed
  • libertarian 2013-01-11 05:50
    urza9814:
    The anarcho-capitalists think it should be an every man for himself free-for-all, while the syndicalists would prefer a cooperative society of strong, democratic communities.


    democratic communities != society based on consent
    If a 'democratiuc community' decides something, they would actually need a form of state power to make it happen. so syndicalists are actually PRO government, but they may not all be sophisticated enough to realize that.
  • libertarian 2013-01-11 05:56
    CA:
    Karl:
    You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.

    I think that's how we got the housing bubble that destroyed the world's economy, as leftist schemes always will. Banks forced to loan to people who had no down payment. But hey at least some politicians got to brag about how they were helping the homeless, so there's that.


    So it is leftist schemes who destroyed global economies and not the neoliberal capitalist monster, which has achieved global poverty while a handful of people own billions. The housing bubble was caused from the greed of banks, who wish for the global population to owe them and be their slaves and thus gave out loans like crazy.


    you claim it were greedy bankers in a free, capitalist market that caused it.

    Why would a banker give a loan that is unprofitable to anyone?

    As you see, this does not make sense.
  • jwenting 2013-01-11 05:59
    in other words, typical customers...
  • Zagyg 2013-01-11 07:47
    Paul:
    Tracy:
    You've apparently never worked IT with medical doctors as clients. They are convinced that a medical degree is the same as a genius certificate and anyone without it is a moron, and most of their colleagues with them are morons also. They are also in the important business of saving lives so any IT delay is an emergency that could KILL SOMEONE.
    True. Real Doctor (TM) support is worse than PhD Doctor support.

    But the PhDs know they can't resort to the life-or-death argument, which just frustrates them all the more, making them yell louder and stomp their feet harder.

    There's almost an inverse ratio. The true geniuses have a calm quiet air about them, because everybody knows they've earned respect. The wannabe hangers-on struggle mightily over who gets the bottom rung on the ladder.


    +1
  • someone 2013-01-11 08:36
    libertarian:

    you claim it were greedy bankers in a free, capitalist market that caused it.

    Why would a banker give a loan that is unprofitable to anyone?


    Because the bankers thought, if the loaner cannot pay it back, they get the house and partial back payment, and make a profit in the end.
  • Your Name 2013-01-11 08:59
    libertarian:
    CA:
    Karl:
    You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.

    I think that's how we got the housing bubble that destroyed the world's economy, as leftist schemes always will. Banks forced to loan to people who had no down payment. But hey at least some politicians got to brag about how they were helping the homeless, so there's that.


    So it is leftist schemes who destroyed global economies and not the neoliberal capitalist monster, which has achieved global poverty while a handful of people own billions. The housing bubble was caused from the greed of banks, who wish for the global population to owe them and be their slaves and thus gave out loans like crazy.


    you claim it were greedy bankers in a free, capitalist market that caused it.

    Why would a banker give a loan that is unprofitable to anyone?

    As you see, this does not make sense.


    Because the individual banker is giving a loan out with the bank's money, not his own. The bank gives the banker his commission based on the initial loan. As long as the banker jumps ship before the loan fails, he personally is making a profit even if the organization has a long-term loss.

    You're doing that thing where you assume that an organization acts in its own rational best interest all the time, even though organizations are just groups of fallible human beings.
  • PedanticCurmudgeon 2013-01-11 09:32
    snuffy:
    So is it like a TDWTF thing where literally everyone posting in the comments is trolling?
    Because if not then there are a hell of a lot of populist IT guys out there who can't wait to tell everyone how them thar doctors with all them fancy book learnin's ain't so smart after all.
    You must be new here.
  • QJo 2013-01-11 09:55
    CA:
    Karl:
    You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.

    I think that's how we got the housing bubble that destroyed the world's economy, as leftist schemes always will. Banks forced to loan to people who had no down payment. But hey at least some politicians got to brag about how they were helping the homeless, so there's that.


    So it is leftist schemes who destroyed global economies and not the neoliberal capitalist monster, which has achieved global poverty while a handful of people own billions. The housing bubble was caused from the greed of banks, who wish for the global population to owe them and be their slaves and thus gave out loans like crazy.


    It's not even as complicated and conspiracy-related as that. It was caused by the greed of a bunch of people who saw an opportunity to make a quick buck as the system they were part of allowed such a practice. By the time it all fell to pieces, they'd made their pile and were onto the next scheme to enrich themselves at the expense of others.

    The fact that they got away with it was at least partly due to the social / moral / political environment which encouraged the philosophy "greed is good". Now, those people who espouse that philosophy are the ones that really need to be exterminated like vermin.
  • searching 2013-01-11 10:13
    perhaps:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sayre%27s_law

    this should help
  • Mike 2013-01-11 11:11
    Healthcare can be the same way the doctors are right even when they are stupid. Eg. had one, a good doctor I'm sure but lacking in sense, that had a workstation by his feet at his desk.

    He kept getting his feet tangled in the monitor cable and the screen would go green as the cable got lose (didn't help to tighten it, it eventually loosened over time).

    Move the computer? No.

    Realize this is the same thing that happened the last 3 times and just push the cable back in? No.

    Page IT and complain that the computer is broken again. That is your answer :) He also had a nurse that was responsible for putting his network cable into his laptop whenever he moved it (before wireless was popular/fast enough) because the "internet wasn't working again".
  • urza9814 2013-01-11 11:20
    Your Name:
    libertarian:
    CA:
    Karl:
    You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.

    I think that's how we got the housing bubble that destroyed the world's economy, as leftist schemes always will. Banks forced to loan to people who had no down payment. But hey at least some politicians got to brag about how they were helping the homeless, so there's that.


    So it is leftist schemes who destroyed global economies and not the neoliberal capitalist monster, which has achieved global poverty while a handful of people own billions. The housing bubble was caused from the greed of banks, who wish for the global population to owe them and be their slaves and thus gave out loans like crazy.


    you claim it were greedy bankers in a free, capitalist market that caused it.

    Why would a banker give a loan that is unprofitable to anyone?

    As you see, this does not make sense.


    Because the individual banker is giving a loan out with the bank's money, not his own. The bank gives the banker his commission based on the initial loan. As long as the banker jumps ship before the loan fails, he personally is making a profit even if the organization has a long-term loss.

    You're doing that thing where you assume that an organization acts in its own rational best interest all the time, even though organizations are just groups of fallible human beings.


    Even the organizations came out ahead though! They made terrible bets, lost everything, then got it all repaid by the US taxpayer! Meanwhile, they then go and repossess the houses from the very same taxpayers! So if someone can't pay their loan, the bank gets the loan paid off by us, AND they get what the loan was spent on back from us too!
  • Smouch 2013-01-11 11:38
    Paul:
    ... if you're really smart, the university people well welcome you to the inner circle as one of their own, and you will go straight from Mommy and Daddy paying your tuition to begging the Government for handouts (grants). You never have the experience of being required to produce something of value.


    You, sire, are my hero for the day
  • urza9814 2013-01-11 11:40
    libertarian:
    urza9814:
    The anarcho-capitalists think it should be an every man for himself free-for-all, while the syndicalists would prefer a cooperative society of strong, democratic communities.


    democratic communities != society based on consent
    If a 'democratiuc community' decides something, they would actually need a form of state power to make it happen. so syndicalists are actually PRO government, but they may not all be sophisticated enough to realize that.


    Democratic does not require that the threshold for accepting a measure is 50%+1. It could be 100%. Then it's consent-based and democratic.

    But really, you don't need that. We have PLENTY of smaller organizations that already meet these criteria. People propose ideas, they discuss those ideas, then they vote on those ideas. And when people have extreme disagreements with those ideas, they aren't required to participate -- but in general most people will willingly support an idea that they may not consider perfect not because they are being threatened with violent force, but simply because they realize this must be done by the group as a whole and they are better off supporting the compromise. That is, for example, how ALL true grass-roots activism works. No reason society couldn't work the same way.
  • urza9814 2013-01-11 11:42
    urza9814:
    Your Name:
    libertarian:
    CA:
    Karl:
    You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.

    I think that's how we got the housing bubble that destroyed the world's economy, as leftist schemes always will. Banks forced to loan to people who had no down payment. But hey at least some politicians got to brag about how they were helping the homeless, so there's that.


    So it is leftist schemes who destroyed global economies and not the neoliberal capitalist monster, which has achieved global poverty while a handful of people own billions. The housing bubble was caused from the greed of banks, who wish for the global population to owe them and be their slaves and thus gave out loans like crazy.


    you claim it were greedy bankers in a free, capitalist market that caused it.

    Why would a banker give a loan that is unprofitable to anyone?

    As you see, this does not make sense.


    Because the individual banker is giving a loan out with the bank's money, not his own. The bank gives the banker his commission based on the initial loan. As long as the banker jumps ship before the loan fails, he personally is making a profit even if the organization has a long-term loss.

    You're doing that thing where you assume that an organization acts in its own rational best interest all the time, even though organizations are just groups of fallible human beings.


    Even the organizations came out ahead though! They made terrible bets, lost everything, then got it all repaid by the US taxpayer! Meanwhile, they then go and repossess the houses from the very same taxpayers! So if someone can't pay their loan, the bank gets the loan paid off by us, AND they get what the loan was spent on back from us too!


    Also, they're now considering suing the US government, so they can have THREE rounds off profit off of the US citizens. Seems like they came out ahead to me!
  • Harrow 2013-01-11 11:49
    libertarian:
    democratic communities != society based on consent
    Ah, the epitaph of the Soviet Union.

    -Harrow.
  • libertarian 2013-01-11 11:50
    Your Name:
    libertarian:
    CA:
    Karl:
    You sound like one of those who think everybody should get everything, whether or not they earn it.

    I think that's how we got the housing bubble that destroyed the world's economy, as leftist schemes always will. Banks forced to loan to people who had no down payment. But hey at least some politicians got to brag about how they were helping the homeless, so there's that.


    So it is leftist schemes who destroyed global economies and not the neoliberal capitalist monster, which has achieved global poverty while a handful of people own billions. The housing bubble was caused from the greed of banks, who wish for the global population to owe them and be their slaves and thus gave out loans like crazy.


    you claim it were greedy bankers in a free, capitalist market that caused it.

    Why would a banker give a loan that is unprofitable to anyone?

    As you see, this does not make sense.


    Because the individual banker is giving a loan out with the bank's money, not his own. The bank gives the banker his commission based on the initial loan. As long as the banker jumps ship before the loan fails, he personally is making a profit even if the organization has a long-term loss.

    You're doing that thing where you assume that an organization acts in its own rational best interest all the time, even though organizations are just groups of fallible human beings.


    of course they are fallible, and what happens in a free marked is, that those orgs pay the price for their mistakes and be replaced by better ones, no problem there.

    In the corporatist/socialist/fascist/callitwhatyouwant world we live in, we just bail them out. As these banks can't fail, those loans were actually profitable (because any loss gets paid by a third party: you & me), so they actually did act in their own interest.


    And just to make things clear, free market proponents like me do not think, that market participants are infallible - quite to the contrary, this is just a lame straw man. but who do you think makes regulations if not groups of fallible human beings? what do you think constist governements of? This is exactly the reason we why should be extremely reluctant to them coercive power over us and our fellow human beings.
  • no laughing matter 2013-01-11 13:54
    libertarian:

    of course they are fallible, and what happens in a free marked is, that those orgs pay the price for their mistakes and be replaced by better ones, no problem there.

    Ah the free-market-illusionists!

    Well, in case you didn't notice: Lehman Brothers was not bailed-out and the rest of the world had to learn a lesson: What happens when banks grow so large that "too big too fail" becomes reality.

    "Lehman Brothers" was not even the biggest of them and free markets always result in big companies becoming bigger companies.

    So much for unregulated markets!
  • Techpaul 2013-01-11 14:30
    Paul:
    OK, this one had me totally buying in to the retired university story, because that is exactly how university employees act when they want something.

    You see, if you're dumb, you leave school at some point to work in the Real World where your employer can't back your paycheck unless you all get your act together and provide some product or service people want bad enough to pay for it.

    But if you're really smart, the university people well welcome you to the inner circle as one of their own, and you will go straight from Mommy and Daddy paying your tuition to begging the Government for handouts (grants). You never have the experience of being required to produce something of value.

    Therefore your value is not measured by productivity, but by this nebulous thing called clout. You've published papers that are more important than the other guy. You've been there longer. You know the assistant to the janitor of the guy who wipes the Dean's ass. Whatever you can find, you glom onto it and trumpet it about to prove your standing.

    And woe be to the lowly tech support peon who fails to bow in submission to your greatness. Trivia like unplugged power cords are just excuses for your abject craven maliciousness in failing to acknowledge their clout. Therefore you must be yelled at in louder and more dramatic terms until it penetrates your thick skull that they are fucking important dammit so you better fix their shit right now or face their wrath!!!

    Used to happen to me every day.

    If you were clever you could get two of them at your desk at the same time, each trying to outclout the other, and just sit back and watch the sparks fly. Quite entertaining at first, but it gets old. And of course the job didn't pay nearly enough to compensate for that, so I moved on.

    But the opening paragraphs are 100% realistic.

    Sounds totally right to me having to deal at one time with professors and research people who knew all about their VERY NARROW subject, which obviously meant that they knew everything about everything. Anything goig wrong was somebody elses mistake.

    Even had one senior researcher telli=ng me while I was designiong and supporting video equipment for PCs that all camera have ONE pixel.
  • PedanticCurmudgeon 2013-01-11 15:27
    no laughing matter:
    libertarian:

    of course they are fallible, and what happens in a free marked is, that those orgs pay the price for their mistakes and be replaced by better ones, no problem there.

    Ah the free-market-illusionists!

    Well, in case you didn't notice: Lehman Brothers was not bailed-out and the rest of the world had to learn a lesson: What happens when banks grow so large that "too big too fail" becomes reality.

    "Lehman Brothers" was not even the biggest of them and free markets always result in big companies becoming bigger companies.

    So much for unregulated markets!
    Not sure if trolling or missing the point...
  • Paul Neumann 2013-01-11 16:13
    HeeHaw:
    You weren't accepted to grad school, i see.
    But I was excepted from grad school!
  • Paul Neumann 2013-01-11 16:26
    Mew Ichigo:
    Americans bickering about their "left" and "right" governments show a striking similarity to people comparing McDonald's to Burger King and claiming one is healthier than the other.

    </troll>
    Burger King grills over an open flame. Clearly more healthy!
  • Tasty 2013-01-11 17:05
    Techpaul:

    ...
    Sounds totally right to me having to deal at one time with professors and research people who knew all about their VERY NARROW subject, which obviously meant that they knew everything about everything. Anything going wrong was somebody else's mistake.


    It's logical to conclude that anything going wrong was somebody else's mistake. The person only knows a very narrow subject, and nothing else. So, he can't know why things are wrong.
  • justme 2013-01-11 17:12
    foxyshadis:
    LoremIpsumDolorSitAmet:
    So TRWTF is that Jim didn't properly authenticate the caller? Maybe there really was a MARYB and she got lucky, but a little more digging would have ratted her out.

    Also, his very FRIST question should have been whether she could get a dial tone.

    At this point it's been... 10 years maybe? since I've had to interact with dial-up in any way. Wait, no, there was that one-weekend outage when I used my DSL ISP's dial-up numbers to get on 6 years ago. I doubt I'd have a mental checklist to run down since I never had to actually support it and have no idea how modern OSes do it. Hell, I barely even remember how you do it in 98 or XP, or what any error codes mean.


    True, but I bet you still recognize the sounds and what they mean once it gets going.
    beep bop squeal
    ahh..there's the handshake
  • justme 2013-01-11 17:27
    someone:
    libertarian:

    you claim it were greedy bankers in a free, capitalist market that caused it.

    Why would a banker give a loan that is unprofitable to anyone?


    Because the bankers thought, if the loaner cannot pay it back, they get the house and partial back payment, and make a profit in the end.


    Serious question here and not trying to troll ( though definitely off article topic ) : When I bought my house in 2006, I had a stated income loan. Why ? Because I had been working abroad fro years and all my paystubs were in Dutch. I offered them to the bank to translate and to even have them translated myself, but they said no need. Even to me , this felt wrong. They also approved us for $150,000. When we informed them we found a house for $120,000, they offered to add more to help us "remodel". We said "no thanks". Even so, we had to get PMI. It was mandatory because of the ratio of down payment to loan.

    Joe get's a loan, pays for 3 years. Most of it goes to interest and not principle ( bank gets fee upfront ). So PMI is in still in place. Joe defaults. Bank takes house.

    So here is the question: for all those people who "got loans with almost no money down and defaulted", weren't the banks covered by PMI ? Even if they cannot sell the house for what the loan was ( prices droppped ), they are covered from loss by the insurance.

  • foo 2013-01-11 18:54
    libertarian:
    Your Name:
    libertarian:
    Why would a banker give a loan that is unprofitable to anyone?

    As you see, this does not make sense.


    Because the individual banker is giving a loan out with the bank's money, not his own. The bank gives the banker his commission based on the initial loan. As long as the banker jumps ship before the loan fails, he personally is making a profit even if the organization has a long-term loss.

    You're doing that thing where you assume that an organization acts in its own rational best interest all the time, even though organizations are just groups of fallible human beings.


    of course they are fallible
    Seems like you answered your own (rhetorical) question.
  • gstein 2013-01-11 21:32
    swschrad:
    the real WTF was letting her daughter con her into a cell phone without an RJ-12 jack on the side for the modem.
    TRWTF is an RJ12 - is that supposed to be 1 better than an RJ11?
  • Bill C. 2013-01-12 03:18
    someone:
    There is another reason that you need to beg for money: You gave all your hoes aways for free!

    Publishing a exact description on how to make hoes, so every one can have a hoe, not just some privileged people who can afford to buy one.
    Privileged people can afford to buy hoes but don't because we can get them for free.

    It's peasants who can't get hoes for free who can't afford to buy hoes. Poor, poor peasants.
  • John Hensley 2013-01-12 05:25
    What the hell? Another comment section destroyed by free-market circle jerking? Just shut it all down already.
  • AN AMAZING CODER 2013-01-12 15:35
    Paul:
    CA:
    The housing bubble was caused from the greed of banks, who wish for the global population to owe them and be their slaves and thus gave out loans like crazy.


    Alternatively, the housing bubble was caused from the greed of people, who wanted things they couldn't afford and were too stupid to realise that it was a bad idea to take out a loan that would take 3,000 years to pay back at 5 times your current salary.

    Yes, blame the banks who lend money, rather than those who borrow it. Blame the big corporates rather than the people who make them into big corporates by continuing to buy stuff from them while complaining about it. Blame companies who outsource abroad, while lapping up all the products that you can buy more cheaply now BECAUSE they have outsourced abroad. Etc

    The real answer is that pretty much everyone was culpable, but people like to blame OTHER people rather than accept blame themselves.



    Actually the problem wasn't either the mortgage lenders or the loan takers. It was the sub prime lenders who KNEW they were taking bad or risky mortgages in bulk, sprinkling them with a few good investments and selling them as if they were great (lying) and then betting against the investments they just sold.

    So neither of you are correct.
  • Arancaytar 2013-01-13 08:47
    <blockquote>wait a minute. John? As in university president John Smith?</blockquote>

    As in The Doctor? Oh dear, better get to work on that right away. :P
  • Arancaytar 2013-01-13 08:53
    letatio:
    Andrew:
    Maybe I'm missing something... Did I read this right? Instead of calling AOL, she phoned random numbers at the varsity and lied and get help from their IT instead?


    Should have told her to cat /dev/zero > /dev/hda


    Yeah, that's a Unix computer. Sure.
  • graybeard 2013-01-14 02:10
    Tod:
    BeerJane:
    WhiskeyJack:
    My best modem story was a solution that combined old tech with new tech.

    Back in 2004 or so, I was at a retreat and conference center in California that was designed for spiritual solitude and yada-yada-yada. Bottom line, no phone lines in the bedrooms, and obviously no wifi or internet access.

    But I did have a cell phone and laptop, both Bluetooth enabled. (Oh, and cell phones didn't have EDGE or 3G at that time yet. They did have GPRS, which was next to useless.)

    And, back home in Canada, I still had a working dialup ISP account.

    So the solution: pair the cell phone with the laptop as a Bluetooth wireless modem. Call international long-distance to my home ISP and establish a dialup connection over the cell line. I was able to successfully connect at 9600 baud, not really very useful for web browsing but sufficient to check my email every day.

    When I look back at how not-that-long-ago that was, and how much more connected we are today, it blows my mind.

    What blows my mind more: sure, it cost me a couple bucks in long distance roaming fees to make those calls. But to roam on 3G networks internationally today would cost MORE. Yikes!


    This troll shows some promise. How many people will bite?

    Huh?


    My guess: meta-troll. The OP was one of the more insightful posts in this thread.
  • Cheong 2013-01-14 02:11
    LoremIpsumDolorSitAmet:
    So TRWTF is that Jim didn't properly authenticate the caller? Maybe there really was a MARYB and she got lucky, but a little more digging would have ratted her out.

    Also, his very FRIST question should have been whether she could get a dial tone.

    Yup. This is the very first time he should check.

    I've had supporting modem pool for some time. And the No.1 source of "unable to connect" is "the user is using the phone line to talk to you/other people".

    He should probably ask if she is using the same line to dial modem to phone him first...
  • BushIdo 2013-01-14 14:56
    TGV:
    HeeHaw:
    Paul:
    ... exactly ...
    You weren't accepted to grad school, i see.
    I also found it a bit resentful, but it is true that universities have quite a large number of people who've their head stuck up their own arse. Plus, it makes a good story.

    Exactly. And ever other story here shows, that exactly the same is true for business. After all CS is an exact science, isn't ist?
  • WhiskeyJack 2013-01-15 10:34
    graybeard:

    My guess: meta-troll. The OP was one of the more insightful posts in this thread.


    Thank you. Yeah, I don't know why he called me a troll. I'm a registered account with a verified posting history (feel free to check). And the story was absolutely true.

    Back in those days my provider (Fido) was all about competitive and fair cell phone rates, so my long-distance fees even from the States to Canada were along the lines of 20 cents per minute. That means that a dialup connection long enough to download a pile of POP3 email -- say 5-10 minutes -- only cost a buck or two.

    Compare this with today's 3G international roaming rates. It's ridiculous. And Fido was bought up by its major competitor, Rogers, and slowly started raising all its rates until they are now just as non-competitive as everyone else.

    Two steps forward, one step back.